Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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