Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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