I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
