I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
