Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
