Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
