You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He felt like a one man threesome
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
