So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
