question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
