Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
