got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
