It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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