Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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