My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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