Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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