I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
