there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
