once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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