There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do herpes really smell.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
