I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
