i used baking grease as lip gloss
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.