tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
