fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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