She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
