is your mom at the bar?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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