She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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