I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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