Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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