STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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