Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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