I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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