Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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