I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
