I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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