i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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