Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
