Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
