I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
where does the pee come out of this thing
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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