She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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