im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
