i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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