I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
