that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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