you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize