I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
