Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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