i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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