Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize