Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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