plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
