I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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