Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
