If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Be still, my beating vagina.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
