i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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