I must be too annoying 4 u.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
