Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
