Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
