The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
