You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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