He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A bitchslap is in order.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
