Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
