so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He did a backflip because drugs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
