So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
